This exclamation ranks right up there with the lies you would have heard along with “seriously you have two kids?!” Or “you have lost lot of weight!” Or the very fake “congratulations!!” Or “yes we believe in team culture” or “the best way forward is collaboration” or “cheque is in the mail” “or am with you all the way, do your thing and I will back you up”.
These lies are intended to make us feel good. And we would be really dumb if we don’t see them for what they are. Condescending, fake and conniving.
Lost lot of weight for instance. Hmm so you think i was really fat earlier? Never heard you say that am fat! Don’t look old essentially says “hell you are old as a fossil but let me not rain on your parade”
Cheque is in the mail or payment will surely happen next week. We have all heard that when we are chasing 90 days outstanding or even more.
Lying is convenient. If it makes the current situation better, even if momentarily, we will use a lie.
Cooking up of accounts books to show the world how well you are doing, is akin to saying “you don’t look old”. It makes things look all good and rosy.
Lying is just a tool to hide what you really think, do or feel.
We all indulge in that. In our work life and in our personal life. When telling the truth is detrimental, we lie.
Can you imagine the consequences if you were to say “you have put on weight”?!
When management talks of collaborative culture, it essentially is about gaining control of what you are doing. We are in this together means that if things go south, there is someone to blame.
All the congratulatory messages you get on LinkedIn (when you join a new places or get promoted), how many really are genuine? Or when you congratulate, aren’t you making a future investment? Same goes for facebook or any social media. There is always an axe to grind.
Self preservation and betterment of self is what drives us.
Try to tell things the way they are and see what happens.