I just had to write this post. This post is more for me than for people to comment on. Like I said on Monday, fingers are restless to type.
So I had one busy day yesterday. Didn’t get time to pick up a book for the journey. Did pass the book stand at the airport. Saw Bazaar of Bad Dreams but it didn’t urge me to buy… Not time yet.
Whole day was busy and railway station is not the best place to get the kind of books I read.
I was travelling in a long distance train after a long long time.
5pm the train started and by 6.30 I was extremely restless with absolutely nothing to do… Usually in hour and half we hear the pilot announcing that we have started our descent… Scrolled through my apps and realised that ‘The Burning Room’ was still there in Flipkart e-books. Of course I had read it earlier. But hey, long train ride ahead and a Harry Bosch book to read (even a read one) was a great combination.
Nobody ever has quite figured out why Michael Connelly is my favourite author or why I keep talking about Harry Bosch.
I read the first Harry Bosch book in 2008 and over the last 8 years, I have done his life journey of about 22 years across many books…
Right from the first book, I felt I could identify with him… Relate to him. And as he grew old and the way his life panned out, with some exceptions, I feel like its my life.
His passion and obsessive commitment to his work… It mirrors my obsession.
His love for his daughter…
His zeal to always do the right thing even at the cost of antagonizing people around him…
His disregard for authority in pursuing his objective.
His suffering when those authorities leave him out in the cold.
I so identify with all of that. Though am not a cop.
Just like him, I can’t imagine doing anything but what I have chosen as my profession. It makes me want to wake up and be at work every morning.
I am also the first one at work and sipping on my coffee way before anyone else arrives at work.
I have kinda gone through hell too by doing the right thing.
But most of all, I think that like Harry, am a loner… Focused on the things I want to focus on. Not great at relationships and friends…
It is not easy to understand him… Or me for that matter. You have to take time. Like I keep saying, all good things in life are a slow burn…
Train rides are a good time to evaluate yourself and the choices you have made in your life. A time for introspection. Because there is nothing else to do. And I am not the one who will engage in conversation with fellow travellers.
As the train hurtles through nothingness, it takes us on a ride deep within ourselves. There are no answers that emerge from that ride. No destination that is reached except for the one that we reach ultimately when we get off the train. But it is good to spend time with yourself.
I spent the night reading, thinking, yearning… And then it was morning.
Couple of hours more and I will reach the physical destination but mentally where I need to be, no clue… Nor do I want to have the clue…