Simply put, it states – To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. I may not have stated it precisely (never was good at Physics) but it is enough to make a point.
While Mr. Newton had stated it as a law of motion, the truth is that it is applicable pretty much in everything we do and here is how it goes.
I have heard a number of times that “we tried so hard and worked so hard but it didn’t work out” whether it is at work or in a relationship…
It was Newton’s Law at work.
We push too hard for things… hoping that the harder we try, things will work out. We forget that there is an opposite pressure working against.
This may sound silly to some but its the truth. More so in an argument, a heated discussion or a fight… the more we argue to put our point across, the more resistance we face. And the stupidity of it all is that the more resistance we face, the more we fight and ultimately, either it is a stalemate or things just fall apart.
If we were to step back, stay silent and not react at that point of time (after all in the heat of the moment, we are also likely to get aggressive), what will we lose? Will it help to soak in the pressure and the stress? Instead of fighting back. When the fire burns out, will it be easier to put your point across? not forcefully of course because it will face resistance yet again.
Why is it that we want to push so hard? Not pushing is not equivalent to not having ambition or need to resolve things. It is not about extra effort. It is about approaching the problem in a different way. Finding the gaps. Finding the common meeting ground.
Losing a battle is nothing compared to losing the war completely. It is a cliche but in every defeat too there is a learning.
But hell no… there will be pretty much everyone who will debunk what I am saying because right from the time we were kids, we have been told to fight and WIN. We are afraid of failures. We are scared to be called a failure. whether at work or in a relationship, it is always about being ahead and having control.
And if war, fighting and battle is what it is all about, let me use couple of quotes on The Art of War by Sun Tzu:
“The greatest victory is that which requires no battle”
“Who wishes to fight must first count the cost”
Trust me, not fighting the forces opposing you, requires lot more effort than fighting. We are conditioned to fight. That is how are brains are wired.
You might ask if I follow what I preach. I will give an honest answer. It is too late in life that this realisation has dawned on me. After endless fights and struggles (some wins and some losses), I have realised that what we want to achieve, there must be a better way to do that.
Not fighting is not giving up. But it is finding a better way to get to your goal.
That is it.. with this post of random preaching 🙂